coaching: Help I’m Tired after hanging out with my girlfriend’s kids all day because we are all tired and they get agitated and I get introverted and annoyed. What can I do?

It sounds like you’re feeling burnt out and overwhelmed by spending time with your partner’s kids all day. It’s important to prioritize your own well-being and take steps to address your feelings of introversion and annoyance.

 

First of all I want to remind you that there is a new day tomorrow and that sleep will help you get a clear mind and recharge your energy. When you accept that you had feelings of annoyance and frustration is natural and often is there to remind you of either triggers which can be old habits or re-triggers from your own childhood – especially when dealing with your own kids and others.

 

Also know that it can be like a harsh mirror when dealing with kids as we often see ourselves in our past childhood.

 

You might also be reminded of unpleasant things from your own childhood that is subtle or even hidden in your subconsciousness. Then this is an invitation to look at it or even talk to a partner or partner about the feelings. Just make sure to ask them to hold space for you and avoid judgement as it’s merely feelings passing through you, that should always be allowed as feelings are not real life but they do feel real.

 

The closer you get to what your overlaying triggers are the closer you can come to your underlying triggers.

 

As an educated clairvoyant psychic mentor and coach I help and guide clients on a daily basis, to become more aware and heal many types of emotional and mental issues. You can book me on https://markbarner.com/links or ask me in the comments or via Instagram.com/markbarner.

 

 

 

Here are a few suggestions that may help:

 

 

    1. Communicate with your partner: Let your partner know how you’re feeling and that you need some time to recharge. They may be able to make other arrangements for their kids, or at least understand that you need some space.
    2. Take breaks: If you’re spending the whole day with the kids, try to take breaks throughout the day. Take a walk outside, read a book, or do something that helps you relax and recharge.
    3. Plan activities that you enjoy: Try to plan activities that you and the kids can enjoy together, like playing a game or doing a craft. This can help you feel more engaged and less drained.
    4. Set boundaries: It’s okay to set boundaries around how much time you spend with the kids. Let your partner know that you can only spend a certain amount of time with them, and stick to that boundary.
    5. Consider other social activities: If you’re feeling introverted, it may be helpful to engage in other social activities that you enjoy, like spending time with friends or pursuing a hobby.
    6. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you stay present and focused in the moment, as well as manage difficult emotions. Try taking a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness meditation or simply focus on your breath.
    7. Seek support: If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor for support. They can help you develop coping strategies and work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to your feelings.
    8. Be honest with yourself: Take some time to reflect on why you’re feeling introverted and annoyed. Are there specific triggers or underlying issues that you need to address? Being honest with yourself can help you identify areas for growth and change.
    9. Find ways to connect with the kids: Even if you’re feeling introverted, it can be helpful to find ways to connect with the kids. Try asking them questions about their interests, playing a game with them, or simply spending time in their presence.
    10. Take care of your physical health: Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in regular exercise. Taking care of your physical health can help you feel more energized and better equipped to handle stress.
 

Remember, it’s okay to take breaks and prioritize your own well-being. By finding ways to recharge and take care of yourself, you’ll be better able to be there for the kids and your partner in the long run.

 

    1. Practice self-compassion: It’s important to be kind and compassionate to yourself, especially when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Recognize that it’s okay to have these feelings, and try to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a partner.
    2. Set clear expectations: If you’re spending time with the kids, it can be helpful to set clear expectations about what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not. For example, you could let your partner know that you’re happy to spend time with the kids for a certain amount of time, but that you need breaks throughout the day.
    3. Take time for yourself: Make sure you’re carving out time for activities that you enjoy, whether that’s reading a book, taking a yoga class, or simply spending time alone. This can help you recharge and feel more balanced.
    4. Try to find the positives: Even if you’re feeling introverted or annoyed, try to find the positives in the situation. For example, spending time with the kids may help you develop your patience or bring a sense of joy and playfulness into your life.
    5. Practice gratitude: Taking time to reflect on the things you’re grateful for can help shift your perspective and improve your mood. Try writing down three things you’re grateful for each day, or simply take a moment to appreciate the good things in your life.
    6. Practice active listening: When you’re spending time with the kids, try to practice active listening. This means giving them your full attention and really listening to what they have to say. It can help you feel more engaged and present in the moment.
    7. Take a deep breath: If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed, take a deep breath and try to center yourself. This can help you feel more calm and centered, even in the midst of chaos.
    8. Set realistic expectations: It’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself and the kids. Don’t try to do too much or push yourself too hard, as this can lead to burnout and frustration.
    9. Find common ground: Try to find common ground with the kids, whether that’s through a shared interest or activity. This can help you feel more connected and engaged with them.
    10. Take care of your emotional health: Make sure you’re taking care of your emotional health by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether that’s spending time with friends, pursuing a hobby, or simply taking a bubble bath, make sure you’re giving yourself the emotional support you need.
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How can I set boundaries without offending anyone?

Setting boundaries is important for your own well-being, but it’s also important to do so in a way that respects your partners’s feelings and maintains your relationship. Here are some tips on how to set boundaries without offending others:

    1. Be clear and specific: When setting boundaries, be clear and specific about what you need. For example, you could say something like, “I’m happy to spend time with the kids, but I need to take breaks throughout the day to recharge.”
    2. Use “I” statements: When communicating your boundaries, use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory or confrontational. For example, instead of saying “You’re making me feel overwhelmed,” try saying “I’m feeling overwhelmed and I need some space.”
    3. Express empathy: Let your partner know that you understand their situation and that you still value your relationship. For example, you could say something like, “I know being a parent is hard work, and I appreciate everything you do. I just need some time to take care of myself, too.”
    4. Offer alternatives: If you’re setting boundaries around spending time with the kids, offer alternatives that can work for both you and your partner. For example, you could suggest that you meet up for coffee or lunch instead of spending the whole day with the kids.
    5. Be willing to compromise: Setting boundaries is about finding a balance that works for everyone. Be willing to compromise and find a solution that meets both your needs and your partner’s needs.Remember, setting boundaries is an important part of maintaining healthy relationships. If you are close to someone, they will respect your boundaries and work with you to find a solution that works for both of you.

    1. Be consistent: Once you’ve set a boundary, it’s important to be consistent in enforcing it. This will show your partner that you’re serious about your needs, and will help them understand that you’re not willing to compromise on certain things.
    2. Avoid blaming or shaming: When setting boundaries, avoid using language that is blaming or shaming. Instead, focus on expressing your own needs and feelings in a non-judgmental way. For example, instead of saying “You’re always asking me to babysit, and it’s stressing me out,” try saying “I’m feeling overwhelmed by all the time I’ve been spending with the kids, and I need to take a break.”
    3. Be open to feedback: Your partner may have their own feelings and needs around the situation, so be open to hearing their perspective. Listen to what they have to say, and be willing to adjust your boundaries if necessary.
    4. Practice assertiveness: Assertiveness is a communication style that involves expressing your needs and wants in a clear and direct way, while also respecting the needs and wants of others. Practice using assertive communication when setting boundaries with your partner.
    5. Seek support if needed: If setting boundaries with your partner feels overwhelming or difficult, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can help you develop effective communication strategies and work through any underlying issues that may be impacting your ability to set boundaries.
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How can I find a therapist or counselor?

Finding a therapist or counselor can seem daunting, but there are many resources available to help you find the right fit. Here are some steps you can take to find a therapist or counselor:

    1. Ask for recommendations: Ask partner’s, family members, or your primary care physician for recommendations. They may have had positive experiences with therapists or counselors in the past.
    2. Use online directories: There are many online directories that can help you find a therapist or counselor in your area, such as Psychology Today or GoodTherapy. These directories allow you to search for therapists based on location, specialty, and other factors.
    3. Check with your insurance provider: If you have health insurance, check with your insurance provider to see if they cover therapy or counseling services. They may have a list of providers in your network that you can choose from.
    4. Contact professional organizations: Professional organizations, such as the American Psychological Association or the National Association of Social Workers, can provide you with referrals to licensed therapists or counselors in your area.
    5. Research potential therapists: Once you’ve identified potential therapists or counselors, do some research to learn more about their background, training, and approach. Many therapists or counselors have websites or online profiles that you can review to get a sense of their specialties and treatment philosophy.
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Remember, finding the right therapist or counselor is a process, and it may take some time to find the right fit. Don’t be afraid to reach out to multiple providers and schedule initial consultations to help you make a decision.

 

How can I tell if a therapist is a good fit for me?

Choosing a therapist is an important decision, and it’s important to find a therapist who is a good fit for your needs and personality. Here are some factors to consider when determining whether a therapist is a good fit for you:

    1. Treatment approach: Look for a therapist who uses a treatment approach that resonates with you. For example, if you’re interested in cognitive-behavioral therapy, look for a therapist who specializes in that approach.
    2. Personality: Your therapist’s personality should be a good match for your own. Do you feel comfortable opening up to them? Do they seem empathetic and non-judgmental? These are important factors to consider.
    3. Experience: Look for a therapist who has experience working with the issues you’re dealing with. For example, if you’re struggling with anxiety, look for a therapist who has experience treating anxiety.
    4. Availability: Consider the therapist’s availability and schedule. Will it be easy to schedule appointments that work for you?
    5. Trust: Trust is an important factor in any therapeutic relationship. Do you feel that you can trust your therapist? Do you feel that they have your best interests at heart?
    6. Feedback: Pay attention to the feedback you receive from your therapist. Do they listen to you? Do they offer insights or suggestions that resonate with you?
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It’s important to remember that finding the right therapist is a process, and it may take some time to find the right fit. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, voice concerns, or seek out a different therapist if you don’t feel that your current therapist is a good match for you. A good therapist will understand and support your decision to find the best fit for your needs.

 

What should I do if I don’t feel comfortable with my therapist?

If you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist, it’s important to address the issue as soon as possible. Here are some steps you can take:

    1. Talk to your therapist: If you’re feeling uncomfortable, try talking to your therapist about it. They may be able to adjust their approach or offer insights that help you feel more at ease.
    2. Consider changing therapists: If you’ve tried talking to your therapist and you still don’t feel comfortable, consider changing therapists. It’s important to find a therapist who is a good fit for your needs and personality.
    3. Seek support: If you’re feeling uncomfortable or uncertain about your therapy experience, consider seeking support from a trusted partner, family member, or another mental health professional. They can provide you with additional perspective and support as you navigate your therapy journey.
    4. Practice self-care: If you’re feeling uncomfortable or anxious about your therapy experience, make sure you’re practicing self-care. This may include engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with loved ones, or pursuing hobbies that help you feel more grounded.
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Remember, therapy is a collaborative process, and it’s important to find a therapist who is a good fit for your needs. Don’t be afraid to address any issues or concerns you have, and be willing to take steps to find the best therapist for you.

 

Can a clairvoyant / spiritual mentor help me and how ?

    1. Research online: Look for practitioners with positive reviews or testimonials. Check their website or social media pages to learn more about their background, experience, and approach.
    2. Check professional organizations: Look for practitioners who are members of professional organizations, such as the International Association of Professional Psychics and Mediums or the American Holistic Health Association.
    3. Schedule a consultation: Many practitioners offer free or low-cost consultations. These consultations can help you get a sense of the practitioner’s approach and whether they’re a good fit for you.
    4. Trust your intuition: Ultimately, the most important factor in choosing a clairvoyant or spiritual mentor is whether you feel comfortable and supported in their presence. Trust your intuition and listen to your own inner wisdom.
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Write @markbarner on Instagram with any of your questions and I’ll be happy to answer you.

A valid and talented clairvoyant or spiritual mentor can offer guidance and support in many different areas, depending on their specialties and expertise. Here are some examples of what you might expect to learn:

    1. Insights into your personal growth and development: A clairvoyant or spiritual mentor may be able to offer insights and guidance on your personal growth and development. They may help you identify areas where you can grow and offer suggestions for how to achieve your goals.
    2. Understanding of spiritual principles: A spiritual mentor may be able to help you deepen your understanding of spiritual principles, such as mindfulness, meditation, or energy healing.
    3. Connection to your intuition: A clairvoyant or spiritual mentor may be able to help you connect with your intuition and inner wisdom. They may offer guidance on how to listen to your intuition and trust your own inner guidance.
    4. Healing and release of emotional blockages: A spiritual mentor may be able to help you identify and release emotional blockages that may be holding you back. They may offer techniques or practices to help you move through challenging emotions and find a sense of peace and balance.
    5. Connection to loved ones who have passed on: A clairvoyant may be able to offer insights and messages from loved ones who have passed on. This can provide comfort and closure for individuals who are grieving or seeking closure.
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It’s important to approach clairvoyants and spiritual mentors with an open mind and a willingness to learn. Remember, the most important factor in any therapeutic relationship is the connection between you and the practitioner. If you feel safe, supported, and valued, you are more likely to benefit from the guidance and support they offer.

Remember to sleep on it no matter how stressed or worried about your situation and often seeking counseling can be very beneficial for everyone.

Also forgive yourself that you had all these feelings of frustration and follow some of the many tips in this article.

I wish you the very best.

Kindly Mark Barner

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